Sexual healing is for anyone who feels uncomfortable with their sexuality and with sexual intimacy. I use the term sexual ‘healing’ because any limtitations, hang-ups and unease you may experience with sex can be healed. Sex is probably the most sensitive aspect of your life in which you can be confronted with your deepest fears and anxieties. If you have had experiences as a child in which your personal boundaries were violated, emotionally or physically, sexual intimacy can create an effect of adding salt to the wound.
Children who experience a violation of personal boundaries are extremely resourceful in blocking out traumatic experiences which threaten their sense of being safe and protected and feeling loved. This is a survival instinct which we all possess. You instinctively build a big wall around the part of you that has been so hurt. However, the very nature of sexual intimacy touches the very heart of your being including the emotional wounds you may still be carrying from your childhood.
When old wounds are unconsciously activated during intimate contact and sex you can react in a number of different ways: for example, you can experience a feeling of closing up, almost like you are freezing up or being paralysed; you can react in totally the opposite way by being very uitgoing and lose all respect for your body; or you can choose the path of passive sex in which you feel very little and hope that it will be over as soon as possible. These are all strategies to either prevent sexual contact or to cope with sexual intimacy in the best way possible and they have probably served you for many years. However, this does not mean that you will never be able to enjoy your sexuality and sex – sexual healing is for everyone, it doesn’t matter whether you are gay or straight, male or female, black or white, Christian or Muslim everyone has the right to enjoy their sexuality and a fulfilling sexual relationship. Sexual healing and change is always closer than you think.
“Justin was the first person I confided in after years of private pain regarding my inability to feel comfortable with my sexuality, even in loving relationships. After struggling to be emotionally and physically able to have sexual intercourse, it remained an over-intense experience which often left me in tears. I felt unable to get in touch with my sexual desires, to express them or really enjoy my own sexuality. Instances of my body being frozen in fear in intimate moments, sometimes followed by anxiety attacks, led me to wonder if I had been the victim of sexual abuse, much as it seemed impossible to me.
I chose hypnotherapy to sidestep my rational mind and get in touch with memories I may have blocked out. My very first hypnotherapy session brought up a sexualised image of myself as a small child, which confirmed that my fears were not ridiculous. Hypnotherapy helped me to get to know that inner child and start a dialogue with the part of myself which felt alone and unsupported in life. Talking about those I loved in an environment in which I didn’t need to be loyal to anyone’s feeling except my own helped me to see how dysfunctional my personal relationships were. I started to build up a new soladarity with myself and put my own needs first. With this growing sense of self-worth and ability to articulate my needs, I started to learn to change or walk away from self-destructive situations and relationships. This created the space I needed to open up to myself on a deeper level. It took a number of sessions over an extended period to break down my mental resistance and allow myself to remember a number of instances of sexual abuse, which had taken place when I was just three years old.
Thanks to Justin’s ability to create a safe space, I was able to release alot of inner anger and pain through counselling. Using regression techniques he also encouraged me to return to passive moments of being victimised and turn them into moments of active resistance, which I found very healing. This helped me to find the courage to own my own past and talk to my family and friends for the first time about my problems and the abuse itself. Releasing my body of its hidden sexual pain has put me in touch with my own sexuality and desires and led to the kind of loving and expressive sexual relationship which I had only imagined possible.”
Sexual healing treatment
The sexual healing treatment is an holistic approach tailored to meet the needs of your personal situation. It involves:
- Understanding the respective underlying causes and triggers.
- Learning to listen to the needs of your body and tame the over-thinking mind.
- Step for step guidance in recovering your sexual empowerment and creating more inner balance.
- Defining your boundaries and learning to say know when necessary.
How many sessions do you need?
Because of the way I work the sexual healing treatment operates on a deep level tackling the root of the problem, the results are long-lasting, successful and in many cases achieved with relatively few sessions. Appointments are usually made once a week in the beginning of the therapy and after a a few sessions the frequency can change to once every two weeks, and then after another few sessions to once every 3 weeks. The average number of sessions is about six to eight and the first session is always an intake.
For further information on the costs, cancellation policy, insurance coverage and contact details please go to the main hypnotherapy page.